How a great deal in case you spend on a marriage present? - The Guardian

'Weddings are approach out of control at the moment, far too lots money is spent and receptions go on all day and evening.' picture: Todd Pearson/Getty photographs

A put up on Mumsnet has got everyone speakme. It involves an unnamed wedding visitor, who gave a pair £a hundred as a present, simplest to be rebuked through the newlyweds for no longer being beneficiant ample.

however the details are patchy (and we're simplest listening to one facet of the story), it has brought on a fascinating debate: how an awful lot for those who spend on a wedding gift? We asked our readers and right here's what they referred to (spoiler: it may be below you'd think).

My restrict for pals is £50 – it shouldn't be in regards to the money

The appropriate quantity to supply a person at a wedding is some thing that you may reasonably have the funds for. If the couple are actual friends they are going to take into account. in the event that they're now not, they likely handiest invited you for the gift anyway. after we received married, me and my accomplice had a money jar that individuals might add to anonymously, to get rid of the power. I began feeling guilty when the cheques had been beyond £one hundred. We wanted our pals' company, not their cash.

round £50 is my limit for a wedding gift. When actually decent pals of mine received married lately, i was struggling for cash, so I made them a present as opposed to giving cash. I also wrote them a bit poem. It can charge me subsequent to nothing and the couple informed me it turned into so considerate that it made them cry. no one ever mentioned the cost.

anonymous, 29, Worcestershire

I actually have spent as little as £sixteen on a cake set

I actually have been to more than 30 weddings with my husband and we constantly spend around £50 on a gift. there are times when I even have spent much less, continually when I've seen a really decent present it really is ideal but comes with a smaller cost tag. In these instances I haven't felt obliged to supply extra cash because it's really not about that.

I have spent as much as £seventy five but as little as £sixteen (on a Laura Ashley cake slice set for my American cousin). It became lower than i would continually spend however I had spent a great deal on flights to travel to the marriage. i needed to get him whatever British that he may with a bit of luck hold always. i was basically blissful with the present.

technology capability couples are actually more direct about what they want. They installation reward lists and honeymoon funds. There are blended feelings about that as a result of some people discover it rude to be so specific, but I locate it valuable. principally if I'm not tuned in to the couple's taste.

As a single adult my maximum spend is ready £a hundred and twenty

I always go by using the guideline of gifting a sum near the charge I believe the couple can be paying to have me/us there. If i am primarily close to the couple, i will be able to give extra to replicate that.

As a single grownup, I believe my optimum changed into about £one hundred twenty for a really shut friend, in addition to the cost of traveling abroad for the wedding. The funds become for an espresso maker that she advised me she wanted. The reward was neatly got and my effort to shuttle to her marriage ceremony very appreciated. We had a lovely time.

The main exchange in wedding etiquette through the years is that, whereas during the past it changed into regarded extraordinarily distasteful to give funds, now this has develop into the norm. personally, I still prefer to provide some thing tangible as a present.

essentially the most I spent became £eighty on a detailed buddy

The quantity you provide is dependent upon how well you recognize the adult, and how first rate you've both been at preserving contact. for example, I went to a pal's marriage ceremony remaining year, and turned into invited to the day and evening do. I talented them £eighty, as I couldn't in fact come up with the money for extra after visiting down to London and having to pay for a hotel while staying there.

I've acquired two more weddings this year, and that i'll be gifting them distinct quantities. I don't definitely understand the bride and groom within the first wedding, however my accomplice does. i will be able to doubtless make contributions £10 to some thing my partner offers as a goodwill token.

For the 2nd wedding, I'll likely provide £30 or £40, as i do know the bride however now not the groom. i can't are expecting my partner to make contributions as he's certainly not met both of them. We also have to pay for a lodge for the evening, which has labored out reasonably pricey.

essentially the most I spent turned into the £80. I trust we have been thanked (slightly generically, but then they ought to have had a fair few monetary presents in the basket) by the use of a facebook message.

this present day people get caught up in themselves. I've noticed that they not thank americans for birthday or Christmas gifts. the realm is also much more materialistic. a pal as soon as advised me that you simply had been imagined to reward americans an approximate price that equals what you think your meal charge. That looks like a long way too a lot work for me to endure thinking about.

anonymous, 26, Manchester

There's no appropriate amount – it is dependent upon a lot of issues

I think it actually has to rely upon your relationship with the couple. for many weddings of chums we've spent around £50 on a small present or honeymoon contribution. Some may suppose here is stingy but these are all couples who are living together and have explicitly cited on their invitations that they had been no longer anticipating presents.

we've a couple of weddings next year where we could be spending greater as they are shut members of the family. It's a private choice and it truly depends on what your chums and family members are like. i might suppose enormously awkward to get hold of an overly beneficiant gift.

I feel marriage ceremony-reward etiquette is unrecognisable now from what it changed into 30 or so years in the past because of the huge increase within the can charge and extravagance of weddings. Plus the proven fact that individuals are likely to live collectively earlier than they wed.

I'm getting married next 12 months and my fiancé and i are having a very complex time figuring out what to do involving gifts. We've lived together for a number of years and acquired our first condominium last summer time so there really isn't anything we need.

i think we are able to installation a gift list but make it very clear to our visitors that they are under no obligation to purchase anything else. The one element we completely could be doing is thanking all of our guests for his or her attendance on the wedding, with a private thank-you be aware, whether they supply a gift or not.

I supply around £30 to friends – weddings are no longer joyous pursuits

I provide around £30-£50 for friends, and £50 for relatives. Weddings are way out of control at the present time; a ways too a good deal cash is spent and receptions go on all day and nighttime. Then individuals come to be divorcing just a few years later.

Weddings are not any longer joyous movements. They should be about gathering individuals to aid you have fun your relationship, as opposed to doing everything at such a big cost and traumatic recompense within the type of gifts. a couple of canapés, a quick glass of fizz and a few speeches can be completely satisfactory.

Freddie, 56, Devon